and i will not deny, i'm gonna need you right here by my side

baby i can't wait until the day i hear you say you are mine, there's no other one for me, keep in mind you make my life complete and today we'll make love endlessly, cus you're the one i'll keep for all time

No one visit my blog anymore but doesnt matter, I feel like blogging. Life in the past few weeks have been so complicated, there's no one there that I feel like running to. There are people, but sometimes it doesn't feel right .. i feel so insecure with people ..

Exams and trials are on this week, how stressing but I'm not gonna let myself stress out. I take regular breaks whilst I'm studying. I dunno if any of this studying will help though.

Monday- English & Science Trials, Tuesday- Maths Advanced exam & History/Geography Trials, Thursday- Food Tech test & Commerce exam, Friday- Japanese exam and Japanese assignment due

These holidays I'll have more time to think over things, or maybe after this week. I don't really want to try because I know the endings, they're always the same. You start off feeling as if this one is gonna be special, but really it's not. Just like every other one. There's so many other reasons I should stop myself anyways, but what I'm feeling can't be controlled but I wish it could.

Love, Katrina

please know this, i'll always be right here, you don't have to look no where else babe, don't think for a minute, this love will change, oh you should know that ..

I didn't get to blog yesterday , damn. Well yesterday we had our PCYC study day and it was also Sammy's birthday. She's pissed off at me right now, but dramas are all part of life. I didn't have a too happy day yesterday. Well Sammy came over in the morning and I gave her her present and then we headed to PCYC. We had 6 40 minute sessions on the 5 main subjects and a study skills session. It was really good, I learnt alot and lots of handy, useful information for studying and the School Certificate. It like inspired me to study but unfortunately I didn't do much yesterday. Then after I hung around for a bit with Chris, Zenn, Luke, Ryan and Lincoln. We just walked around and stuff then I bought some purse and this hello kitty gift bag to put the souveneirs I'm gonna give Mana in. She's coming tomorrow, how exciting. Mrs Lawn still hasn't rung me yet so I have no idea what's happening. She hasn't got my new address I don't think and I don't have her phone number.

After I got home I did a bit of reading of Geography and then somehow bla bla was on the phone with Lisa all night. I just realised there's never going to be a perfect guy for me. Never. None of my ex's have been perfect except for the first one. Now thinking about it, it's like what is the point in past relationships. I mean all you do is get hurt and all, except for those few sweet/happy memories. But I'm not going into one of them again, not until I find the one, which I might never. I have too many insecurities. I look at other people's relationships and now I'm contradicting myself. I say to some people how protective their partners are, but I just realised, I feel the same way when it comes to boys I like. I get jealous so easiily, I dont like it when they talk to too many girls. Jealousy is sucha  stupid feeling, waste of time so why not not let yourself get into that situation =)

Now I'm off to do some more researching of my history article and hopefully start writing up a bit of it.

Love, Katrina

and it feels like i'm running out of time ; and it feels like i'm the last thing on your mind

Howdy doo ohayoo! I had such a bludge and happy day today. I got to school, first time I wore shorts in ages and yeh. We were in Science and everyone was just going to go to the Fossils but some weren't in CAPA so I was like might as well try. So I went down there and Sam just pulled me along with her after she got her name marked off saying we both did already. I didn't even have to pay, how good is that? :) the play was excellent. He was sitting behind me, first time he's talked to me infront of his friends :)  Scotty was suppose to go but he didn't end up. Oh my I think he's still pissed at me and I feel so bad. Looks like lots of hugging and kissing to do tomorrow, minus the kissing lol. Ohwells and then didn't go sport and went shopping with Sammy. Yay I got her what she wanted and I bought a new shirt and a new summer dress! It's so nice. Oh and when we walked to the beach and home, it was so damn hot! Summer is going to be so bad.

Love, Katrina

i have no idea what he's singing

Today was a fast day and I achieved many personal aims =). Well got ready in the morning, decided what to wear and then Tara came and we headed off to school. We had the Domestic Violence & sexual assault with people from councilling institutes, police and student workers and stuff like that. We watched a video, did group work, made a song and painted banners but I wasn't there for that because I left after lunch. The rapping of the song made me feel so gay, lol though it actually didn't sound too bad but we were like we have to leave lol. Then we headed into town and yeh bla bla omg Sammy and Evan, they're ALWAYS sad when they're together so lame. OH and at lunch today, so embarassing. Luke brought up the whole John thing which was like 5 months ago and Zenn was there too! How embarassing.

Yup yup when I got home today I vacuumed my room, rearranged the bedside table and the box of books I have, cleaned up the 50 books on my ground and no im not exaggerating lol. I had all my school books, school textbooks and all the different excel books lying on the floor. I was too lazy and everytime i did something, I'd just chuck it back on the ground. I wiped up things, typed up dads recipe and typed up information for Zenn =) I feel proud but I still haven't finished everything yet and I wann atry sleeping early tonight. I feel so tired all the time.

Love, Katrina

I'm not missing you, i'm not going through the emotions waiting and hoping you'd call me, i'm not miss you, you might have had me open, but i must be going because i got life to do, i know im usually hanging on, i use to hate to see you go but this time it's different, i'm not missing i'm not missing you .. it's a shame in a way cause i feel that i may never find the right one for me, did i leave him is he right infront of my face, will my true love ever be? why would i go on a search again when i know what the end will be .. what good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

Mighty fine day. The weather was a bit too windy though, damn those ocean breezes. Well I got to school and realised I packed for the wrong day. I hate that when it happens, I was getting excited for double food tech. Well first period was Science we just did some quick experiment and went through some past questions and then Japanese. We did some revision and yeh I gotta study man for the exams. At Recess I just went around scabbing for money because I left my wallet at home which actually has a lot of coins. Then then it was Commerce, we were just in the computer room doing the ASX sharemarket game and some typing program. I always make mistakes when I type fast, damn. AND then it was HISTORY, open book essay. It wasn't too bad but I didn't really refer to the topic. I had no idea what assess meant and didn't really refer to stuff about the post ward period. I just wrote out the foreign, economical, political and social affairs that Paul Keating did. Two and a half pages. Kia wrote 5 pages! It was crazy.

My hands and knuckles are all red. Lunch was funny as. My attempt at playing handball, so bad. Hand ball and I were seriously not made for each other. I always get out! It's like so not fair lol. And I was pucnhing NIck's hand all lunch my hands went red and they said I'd be a good fighter =) lol. Scotty bit me today and it hurt so much, I swear I got a bruise from it or something lol. Oh and then it was PE prac, volleyball. My hands hurt so bad but everyone said I suck lol. I don't run for the ball. Well some people dont consider the fact that I was in skirt and stockings will some ballet shoes. lol but it was still funny. Alissa is getting really mean with what she says all the time. Taking some things too far. Maths oh my favourite subject, Mr Mason is still not back yet. He probably got sick from the Year 9 Camp to QLD. We're sitll doing our booklets and yeh. Oh and I FOUND MY LIQUID PAPER. I'm so happy, it was like a part of me even though I lost it the next day I bought it. I love it, makes my work neater ^^.

Yes anyways I have really long blogs these days, well not that long but longer than I use to blog. Well well well Tara, Thanh, Louis', Jessica and I forgot who else's birthdays are ocming up! Sweet 16th and 15's =) My next week is so stressing and I have Mana staying with me too. Monday we have our Geography Assessment, Tuesday is the History Assessment, Thursday PE theory Assessment and then on Friday my English Biography is due. I'm not even sure if I'll get that done by then. I really should be on net less but sometimes I just can't stop talking to some people ;)

I love this song by the way, loving the lyrics baby!

Love, Katrina

oh boy you looking like you like what you see, won't you come over and check up on it

The weekend has gone by so quick and I haven't done any work at all. How stressing, I have so much work yet I didn't do anything sine Friday night Sammy came over and then yesterday I went over Tara's house and her, Jim and Luke came back to mine for the whole night and yeh. Slept in till 12.30 today because I slept at like 4am last night. So tired aye. Heaps of funny stuff last night, the payphone, the school, those long hair dregs. Heaps of good stuff last night, seeing emma and the crew, eating pastry with cheese mmmm. The one thing that pissed us off when some guy spat on Jim, we were ready to get the axe out on him but we didn't. Jim still heaps pissed off though but he cooled down when we got home.

I need to stress myself with work, I can't let myself have time to think of anything else. I'm so over it all.

Love, Katrina

suck me down, it's time to rock and roll .. lets hit the bar, lets lose control
one false move, you took me home .. one false move, you're all alone

Another week has breezed by, well I can't really use the word breeze because a lot of stress was involved and will be involved until the holidays. Well I slept late last night as usual, sat up watching some video tapes. So sad and interesting about war.

First period was PE theory, doing domestic violence. It was interesting. Then we had Maths which I did not touch my maths book as I was doing my Japanese homework. Sammy and I took a few photos too. I bought my camera today to school to show everyone my achievement of Puff Pastry Sweet hearts with Strawberries and Cream. I shall post up a picture later. At recess just took a few more photos and sat around. Then we had double Japanese, got a bit of work done. The My World Task is due in a couple of weeks and yeh haven't done much. Two Japanese students from Tafe came in to help us with the assignment today, was pretty good. We sat in the sun for ages though and in the end John and I was like narh we'll go back in. It was so hot. lol I was being such a teacher's pet in jap today writing up all the answers on the board in Kanji. Lunch was funny as! Scotty's so cute lol, I love that guy. It was really cold and yeh he gave me his shirt =). Then then Tara got out the waxing strips and she asked him if she could wax his legs and he's like yeh okay. lol he was like this is gonna hurt so much, hold my hand so i held his hands lol then she did one strip! and then another. lol THEN HIS CHEST ==' arghs lol fully red man. I felt sorry for him, and then did a strip of his other leg. Fully funny though, he's a brave boy ahahs. After Lunch was Science it was confuzzling, the way to write the name of chemical formulas how you have to add ' mon, di, tri, tetra, penta, hexa ' infront of some of them. English was FUN. Rhiannon had already finished her autobiography so Mr McGibbon had some find-a-words ready for it and then I asked to do one because I hadn't got anythign to do since my biography is on my mum and I didn't interview her last night, so yeh. Everyone ended up doing them. I did 4! I feel proud, i love them! Then home time.

I blog about everything these days, not aiming for people to read but to record the daily events in my life.

" My name's Katrina and this is my story "

Getting to know you as time flies by =) Gee alotta people make me smile and happy!

Love, Katrina

But I aint feeling them like im feelin you Everytime we talk, everytime we touch, I  get a rush cause I can tell you're really feeling me too And its rare, these days to find somebody who really cares You mean everything in my life & I wanna share The ways I never felt, Im really, really feeling you

Hip hip hooray. Stupid dad just hung up on me on the phone. I rang him to ask him to take me to Coles to buy some things and he's like 'you're always buying things!' and hung up on me. Gee, I need to buy my ingredients you know. oofing hell. He's home now, meh. Piss me off to the max, he just left again.

School today was quite the cold but quite funny. Well first period was English, wasn't too bad, wrote up the interview I had with my mum. Then it was PE theory, talking about sexual assaults. Has everyone heard of the news a while ago of a guy on Bondi masturbating in public as he was watching this girl? How gross is that, like who does things like that and talking about sexual intercourse and everything. Interesting lesson. Hmm Recess, well nothing really funny but I was walking up to Chris going to give him a hug from behind and then he poked his ass out whilst he was bending down to pick up the handball and he provoked me to bumjack him LOL, it hurt me actually :( but yes. So funny Steven knows that we want to flim him. Hmm Commerce was alright for once, did a few pages of work and everybody was co-operating together listening to the teacher. Wow. Oh and stupid Emma took my red pen and you know me I can' survive without my red pen and I was nagging the whole class to give it back to me. Took like 10 minutes lol. Now I lost my brand new whiteout that I only bought yesterday. Oofing hell. Maths was really boring as usual. Then lunch time was funny! Rudd moved off the spot on the log he was sitting so a few of us sat down. Then he came back and was asking everyone to move but no one would so I offered him to sit on my laps LOL, and Nick was like "yeah sit on her lap" and I kept asking him to lol then he's like fine and he came and sat on me then i pushed him off and screamed lol. Feels so werid when a guy sits on you compared to a girl =\

Funny how sometimes you don't know a person for that long but you can talk for hours whenever you have the chance to. Funny how the one you always really want is the one you can't have. Funny how no matter how caring he is, you know you're not his special one. Funny how life's funny =)

Love, Katrina

and i know that he's know i'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that i am happy with some other guy, i can see him dying, i don't wanna do this anymore, i don't wanna be the reason why everytime i walk out the door, i see him a die a little more inside, i don't wanna hurt him anymore, i don't wanna take away his life, i don't wanna be ..

What a gloomy day. So boring. Well woke up in the morning and got ready for school as usual. Saw Lincoln on my way down to school then he came with me to get a leavepass instead of going to sport because Dr Prowse said I shouldn't do physical activity so my body can recover. First period was Science, was really gay because we're doing Ionic Compounds, in other words the chemical formula things and Lincoln was asking all these questions. Math was second period, had a good chat to Chris and Sammy as Mr Mason is away all week so we just have a booklet to do. Recess was alright, we found a girl who can do the film and video thing, which is to be all flirty around Steven. ROFLS, he tries to perve and get on to anyone and no one was willing to do it, only boat girl was lol. Pretty slack but yeh. English was third period, didn't do much because everyone's working on their autobiographies and i'm doing a biography on my mum so most of it is done at home. I haven't even started yet as i mentioned in previous entries. Then it was History, reading the speeches of Paul Keating. They were pretty meaningful and touching. Wasn't a bad lesson but I found out on the coming Monday we have an in class essay on a primeminist, how gay is that! I haven't even been here for 2 weeks to reserach on a prime minister. Luckily, the Hiostry test on Thursday is a History Competition. We have next Tuesday which is where we're going to the PCYC for some talk thing all day, then on Friday we have a study day which is in school but outta uniform and no need for class attendance, then the Tuesday after that all the students that are hosting the Japanese exchange students will all go to the Billabong Park, with Mr Taylor driving a minibus! Let's all pray before we start off on that trip.

Afterschool Sammy jigged and came with me to Settlement City. I bought a few birthday cards, dad's father's day card and a box of chocolates, got a few photos developed, got my liquid paper FINALLY, got a love heart cutter, bought an electric mixer because mum lost ours and a box of chocolate which is contributing to the presents I'm going to give to Mana when she comes to Australia :)

I totally love this song, I'm officially addicted to it! The lyrics are depressing.

Love, Katrina